What To Do

Sorry for absence. What can we do? Tearing my hair out in despair at this suffering. (translation on original post.)

(Küfürlü, beddualı yorum yapmanız hiç birşeyi düzeltmez, sayfanızda paylaşın ve ilk iş iletişim bilgilerinden ulaşıp gerekenleri söyleyin) Kalabalık bir şekilde Kilis e gitsek, önce belediye başkanı olacak arkadaşla görüşsek sonra kurtarabildigimiz kadar can kurtarsak! #Repost from @ezgilejon with @regram.app … BURASI TÜRKİYE !!! BURASI KİLİS BARINAĞI – DAHA DOĞRUSU ÖLÜM KAMPI !! TARİH 18 OCAK 2018! BARINAKTA VETERİNER YOK, ÇALIŞAN YOK … KİMSE YOK!! ÖLÜMÜ BEKLİYORLAR :'( KADERLERİNE TERK EDİLMİŞLER BU MUDUR ÜLKEDE BARINAK !! ANLAYIŞI ?? ÇOCUKLARIN HAKKINI KİM KORUYACAK ??? SESLERİ KİM OLACAK ??? YALANLARINA KANMAYIN – BİZ ÇOK İYİ BAKIYORUZ DENEN MANZARA BU !!! BU ÜLKENİN DÖRT BİR YANINDAN MANZARA AYNI ÇÜNKÜ !!! SUSMA – TEPKİ VER !! #SUSMASUÇAORTAKOLMA 0348 813 10 10 & 813 41 85 / KİLİS BELEDİYESİ 0348 813 10 10 – 154 / VETERİNER İŞLERİ MÜDÜRLÜĞÜ 0552 545 47 79 / KİLİS WHATSAPP ŞİKAYET HATTI 0348 813 10 12 / KİLİS VALİLİK Kilis Bakımevi bugün ! Bekçisi yok, hekimi yok, Mazlumlar atılmış tel örgü arkasına, Ölmeyi bekliyor, tek kurtuluş !

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So It’s 2018 Then Is It?


Happy New Year then and all that.  How are you all?

Well I have had an epiphany of some sort and come to the conclusion that sitting around waiting for things to get better just ain’t going to cut it.

Four weeks back I stopped taking my medication, (gone completely cold turkey over the turkey season.)

Not my best decision ever – was it? And I still feel bl**dy awful.

But I have been trying to stop thinking about my lost Ayda and start channelling my energies elsewhere.

Been working on my Facebook Page and have started a Facebook Group that I hope will become my go to place.  It can be yours as well if you want.

This is the description –

This group is linked to my blog page for the sharing of my free knitting patterns and those under creation.

BUT – After a few days it will become a closed group so that those of us here have a secure place to talk about anything that bothers us.

My reasoning for this is – I have recently survived the most horrendous breakdown and have had nobody to talk to about it.

I live outside of the UK and because of the language barrier there was not medical advice I could seek.

I will tell more when we are established.

But in the meanwhile let me just say this.

However normal someone may seem on the outside, there is always a possibility that they are holding something inside that they cannot talk about.

With this in mind – think before you speak.

So if you knit dolls or toys or anything else really and sometimes live with a black dog or suffer anxiety, why not come on over.  Putting the kettle on now.

Knitted Dolls

And so I trundle of with pictures and text for A Family Affair – (working title) – trying to make the time to design their wardrobes.

Am I the only one who feels guilty when they are knitting? Even though it is for a work related book, I still feel as if I should be doing something else.

Underwear is coming along but there is still a very long way to go.


Any doll knitters out there wanting to share their work?  I now have a Facebook page and am planning a dedicated group also.  So come on over.




No Excuses

Okay so I have gotten myself well stressed and non functioning of late – because of my lost girl.

2017-07-19 17.13.54

The good news is that she has been sighted and someone, who lives in that area – #Alaçati – has kindly offered to try to catch her and take her in until I can get there – (three hours drive and I don’t have a car!!)

And so with my heart not quite so heavy, I am getting my show back on the road.

Am currently working on a knitting book of dolls – working title – A Family Affair.  It involves bodies, clothes, hair and the finer details.


Left to right are – Grand Ma, Grand Pa, Little Boy Billy, Dad, Pregnant Mum and Big Sister Mia.

They will all have complete, multiple wardrobes so you can imagine the chaos surrounding me just now.  I have jackets, dresses and hair everywhere.

We have done a lot of travelling in this Country (Turkey,) but we are currently holed up and working hard through the winter.


With a whole load of strategies to work through first, a plan is emerging to live off grid by 2020.  But more of that later.


So I Write

– Quite a lot actually so let’s have a piece of #flashfiction – link me up to yours if you want to.



Her last remark. The final slur on his already destroyed character.

He took himself away. For her sake as much as his own.

He laid on the wet sand, stretched star-shaped, staring up into a black sky.

As he prayed that something would take him, release him from the torment of his unacceptable love for innocence he felt a soft fluttering against his face.

He reached up, feathers from something invisible.

His feet were wet. The tide was in, channelling a moat around him.

The sudden flapping of wings did not scare him. He knew they would come.


Moving On Up

And so the time comes when you are left with no choice other than to pull yourself up out of the despair and move on.

Today I am trying.

But on Monday I counted all of the tablets in the house out on to the kitchen table, got a glass of water, was lifting it to my mouth, was crying uncontrollably – and the Husband came in. Swiped the whole lot on the floor and yelled bloody murder at me.

Honestly?  At that point I just could not take anymore of the grief that was eating me from the inside out.

I am never going to recover from this, but it’s not just about me, is it? And although I am being as obnoxious as I possibly can toward the person I hold responsible, he is, and always has, done everything he can for me.

Not an easy person to live with or be around me, and I have everything any normal person could ever ask for. Except the one thing that I love most in the world.

So what to do? I don’t know.  But I am trying.




So, So Hard

Still no news about my beautiful lost dog but I have to find a way to put myself back together and do some work.


Unless you have a dog yourself I doubt you can understand the connection that a person makes with what in my case at least, is my best friend.

Anyway.  Tomorrow I start my diary and also sharing some of my work with you.

As a matter of interest if you have lost a pet companion then I would really like to hook up with you.

Until later.